Armed to the Teeth

I am careful to inform myself before I form an opinion. My distrust of the unborn, for instance, came not just from seeing Rosemary's Baby, but from consulting a series of diagrams on fetal development. Hey, I know what I saw. And as silly as I might look, walking down the street with my coffee mug, I do so for very serious reasons. I do it to avoid styrofoam consumption. I used to think styrofoam was harmless until I had this job in a waste management facility. One day I noticed an ant dragging off a used styrofoam coffee cup. Sure, it had sugar in it, but that wasn't why. I followed the creature to its colony, where vast stockpiles of the substance lay everywhere. I got a bad feeling from those ants. Not only had the symmetry of their architecture improved drastically, but it appeared that they were constructing some sort of wonder weapon right under our noses. It dawned on me that, by careful and persistent chewing, ants might be able to convert styrofoam into something far stronger, like armour-flex(TM). Imagine hordes of ants sweeping through the cities of the world with their own safety footwear, their tiny little indestructible tanks causing noticeable erosion to our picnic tables and porches, as the children run helpless and scream even more than usual. Go ahead and use styrofoam if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you.
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© 2011. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.